Week 39

This week has been hard! and great! we have done more contacting and finding here then i have my whole mission, we do it every day, and there is a lot of rejection. which i am grateful for that. The prophets were stoned and cast out, and the Savior himself was rejected when he came to the earth. I am grateful to feel a tiny piece of that, but it is so different from our last area because there we were teaching lessons all day each day. I have learned a lot, and have changed a lot. Hermana Arnell is super awesome, she is such a powerful missionary and we have had some of the coolest experiences together this week. Not a lot of clear success but a lot of seeds and definitely a lot of spirit. I cannot explain how much I love each person we meet, talk to, and teach. I love them so much and for that it is very hard and very sad sometimes. We have had a lot of fun too. I am really grateful for fun and all fun things we have been given in this life. I am so grateful to be a missionary at this time in this place. I am grateful for my weaknesses so that i can build and grow and learn. I know that we are all struggling. We do not need to feel alone or sad about our mistakes, weaknesses, or sins. We only need to look forward to Christ and never look back. Change a little more now and help someone else because we have struggled too. Sometimes people think that we are missionaries and are perfect or holy or something but when we share experiences of when we really did struggle the people can connect to us and see that we are normal humans like them, and i think this can help everyone. I think we need to admit our struggles first to be able to change them. and most of the time a lot of us struggle with the same things. and it goes both ways, sometimes i feel inadequate to be able to help some people or some of the members here who are super strong and active. they seem that way but they are struggling just like me and all of us. my eyes have been opened a lot this transfer to a lot of issues and even just reality and i have learned more of how important the spirit is. The spirit has told me things that i could have never known on my own and for that i was able to help when i myself wouldn't have. 

Hermana Egan